Just a quick thought.
I grew up that dorky girl with bad hair and a nose too big for her face, so all I ever wanted was for someone to think I am pretty. Well, I grew into my looks and into my bra and I discovered hair products, and finally I was a “pretty girl.” And to this day, it is always a pleasant surprise to have that fact pointed out. I still live with the mindset of an ugly duckling, and I don’t know if I’ll ever grow out of that, so I will probably forever blush when someone reveals to me that they find me attractive.
However, complimenting my looks is not the be all, end all of nice things to say to me. In fact, with the tact most men have, it’s like an insult wrapped in a compliment with a snarky little center. Guys at the bar think if they look me up and down and smile that I will melt all over their shoes. Nay, sir. nay.
No, to this day, the greatest compliment I have ever received was, “You’re very articulate.” That, right there, is a proverbial panty dropper, just let me tell you.
You want me to feel flattered? Tell me you’re intimidated by my vocabulary. You want to make me want you? Tell me I am a beautiful writer. You want to really get in my head? Be my intellectual rival.
Humans are hardwired to be attracted to people who possess traits that they like about themselves and be repelled by people who possess characteristics that they dislike about themselves. People who are proud of being funny like funny people. Bossy people who are ashamed of being bossy do not like bossy people. It is simple: like attracts like. This opposites attract bullshit is simply that: BULLSHIT.
So, I take great pride in my usage of the English language: I enjoy being bookish, I unabashedly own up to being a Grammar Nazi, and my impeccable spelling makes me swell with pride. I am a word nerd, and I like it. Therefore I am going to be drawn to people who appreciate those aspects of my personality and who reflect them back.
Oh, the things one thinks about when washing her hair.