Tag Archives: aimless

“Holy shit, she’s trying this AGAIN?!”

That ^…up there…that’s what I assume you two people who subscribed to this blog months ago thought when you got an email announcing that this post exists.  I’m not going to even bother apologizing for the absence. I’m just…not.

Sooooo, hey there. Hi. I, pathetically, don’t have a purpose for this here blog entry other than to say that, with any luck, I will be doing this regularly. Again. I hope.

I’ve been feeling…slightly overwhelmed the last few weeks. I’ve had a few tragic/tragically comical mood (down)swings–one that caused an ill-timed emotional explosion that left a very sweet boy blinking in the aftermath–and quite a few literally sleepless nights. And though I turned to my old friends Diet and Exercise to balance out the weeble wobble that I had become, and while they helped, I still felt like I was missing something. Like there was a simple solution dancing in front of me wearing nothing but a Dr. Seuss hat and I was just missing it . Finally, it came–first, as a whisper in the back of my mind, then a low drone, and, finally, an air horn–to me: WRITING.

Yeah. It took me a while. I’m a dumbass. I know.

Approximately, oh, 6 minutes ago, as I lay on my bedroom floor feeling rather more alone than usual, and recognizing the familiar tug of sadness, I sat up and said, out loud, “Blog, you spaz.” And thus, here I am. Saying nothing of meaning or use to anyone, but feeling better because of it.

Why, gods, why does it always take me so long to come back to writing?

Here’s the brief lowdown, friends. Last time I wrote, I had just been kicked out of my parents’ house. That was back in…October? (Fuck me, has it been that long?) Since then I have moved into my own place, done a 180 when it comes to my plans for the future (pssst…these plans might actually happen!), lost all love I once had for my job, got my first ever gym membership, and started drinking with a regularity that rivals my undergrad career. And I might have an ulcer. Aaaand I’ve rediscovered my weirdness. You could say we have some catching up to do.

So, I hope I actually keep writing for a while. And I hope I actually have something to say that has worth to someone. But if not, at the very least typing these 400ish words actually made this night a little bit better. And, fuck it all, that has very real worth to me.

 

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized